If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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