can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
