idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize