At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
