Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
