is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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