I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
