hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
