i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
