it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
