I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
