Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
