I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
