So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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