My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
