My friends, they love my intelligence
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
