We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
