Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
