I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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