no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
