Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
do herpes really smell.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
