this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
