hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
