I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
