He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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