just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
