his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
