does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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