I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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