Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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