We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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