i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
do herpes really smell.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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