Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
