Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
