why didn't you poke me back
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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