I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
