So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
