I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
