End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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