i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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