They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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