Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
