Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize