I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My balls are so social today.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
