i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
