about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
