I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
