It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
