i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
