I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
