Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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