D3 body, D1 cock
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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