Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
