There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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