If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
