There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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