i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
