you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize