he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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