Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
